ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
