some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
