Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
