Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
