but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
