know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
