piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
