Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
