Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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