No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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