Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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