Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize