you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize