Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
