Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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