I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
