You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
