It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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