why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
