so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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