Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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