She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
