im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
