i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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