You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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