do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize