The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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