is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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