he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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