Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
