I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
