Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
