New low: just hacked my moms facebook
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
