So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
