plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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