My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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