I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
