Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
