What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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