come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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