the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
