You work out of a Hotel?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
