Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
