He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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