direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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