Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
