Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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