We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
