Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
