Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
