He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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