Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
