i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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