he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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