I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
