Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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