theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
