He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
