Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize