I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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