i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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