maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
