i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
