Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
