I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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