i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
