He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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